I read once that if you want to get comfortable with telling lies to others, you need to get comfortable with telling lies to yourself. Kind of chilling when you think about it. But I agree.
Now what are these self-lies we tell ourselves? In my case, during my days in the corporate world, it was performance. For example, if I hit this number I will get an applause at the weekly staff meeting. I would sit and find myself perspiring and feeling so much adrenaline at the thought of telling my peers how good my group was doing. The lie I embraced was that age old dysfunction of; "if I do this or that, I will be liked/loved." Did my peers like/love me because of my great feats? No, and if some were of the fleeting yes variety, it never lasted very long.
Telling, and believing, self-lies is a dangerous habit. Like an awful addiction to heroine. It can cripple you from finding and leading an Epic Life. One scary part is found in how many people/messages are out there to fuel the habit.
In the end, lies are lies...no way around it.
Lying to oneself is not only confined to the individual. But creeps into the organizational world too. Take the large corporation that proclaims, via marketing, that it values the client. Ironically, though, its client service department can't even return phone calls in a reasonable fashion. The organization continues to print materials, hold town hall meetings, format focus groups, but the truth is still the same; valuing a client is more of a fantasy. And by the way, most loyal clients know this.
So what happens if we start embracing the truth versus the lie? Here are some outcomes to consider:
- We can get down to the business of change-for the better.
- We'll stop blaming the competition, our dads, the economy or some other phantasm for our poor results.
- Focus and happiness.
- A legacy colored in the brush strokes of planning and execution.
- Freedom!
I'm sure there are more outcomes to list. But the point remains for us, stop the lies. Our Epic Life/Venture depends on it.
Who Are You Marketing To?
I've been at this entrepreneur (risk-taker) thing for awhile-even before I knew it consciously. The learning never stops. I had a couple of great conversations today around marketing and the target of those intentions. Driving away from those conversations, I thought about who I'm marketing to. Maybe the question is appropriate for you as well.
Who are you marketing to?
My intentions with marketing may be different than you. Are you marketing yourself to a prospective employer type? Are you marketing yourself to a prospective client? Regardless, it pays to know. I know you may now be thinking I deserve the big "duh." Stick with me.
In the early days of Epic Living I put significant time into knowing who my target audience was. It was a noble effort, but it lacked the sobering understanding needed in the final analysis. Quite frankly, this lack of sobering understanding tripped me up. In other words, failure upon failure. Here's what I discovered some time ago:
I'm not marketing to me.
This reality is crucial. No matter how excited I was about a product or service or how much I thought what I was offering would change the world, I was a poor example of who would buy and follow. The deception lies in a belief that my excitement and applause represented the "whole" needed to sustain my ideas. The dirty little secret is often I didn't want to hear that my "great" idea was only interesting to a few. Ouch!
My friend, Craig Lerner of Involve, always follows my announcement of a new idea with a question. The question, so what? Yep, so what. So what if it does this, does that, saves starving children, and on and on. He's not trying to shoot my dream down, he's putting me through the sobering understanding thing. He has helped me immensely, even when I didn't want to hear it. You need a Craig Lerner.
So where does that leave us? Here are some key take-aways to consider, and remember, this is based on my experience.