Epic Living - Wellbeing Expert, Entrepreneur, Author, Man on A Mission

Positioning

We all know people who are good at positioning for insincere purposes.  This is probably why the word has a fairly negative connotation.  But what about positioning for sincere and "right" reasons?

It could be a game-changer for you.

Whether you're looking for your next job opportunity or pitching a VC on a great business idea, positioning is vital.  Consider it the backdrop for your story.  If your intentions are sincere, then you should want to position the story (compelling and not like the everyone else) for your audience.  Seems to me it would take the edge off of the blues we can tend to experience while pursuing our dreams. 

It's worth it if you want your life to count.  Understand this; if you were looking for any employer, any VC, any business partner, then positioning would be a complete waste of time.  But my guess is you want it to be right.  The question is whether you're willing to go through the fire to find what you're looking for.

After the fire, you'll find the place you were looking for.

Career Fear Factor

 

 

"You are caught by what you are running from." - Sam Keen

 

Does losing your job or not finding a job scare you?  For many, the answer would be yes.  Now if it’s just a passing thought don’t pass out.  I'm speaking of preoccupation and consistent fear.  Most people have, at one time or another, considered the reality.  In 2011 the reality of this type of change is real-for better or worse.  But do you manage your career and life around that fear? 

 

I’ve seen leaders make decisions because they were calculating the most foreboding scenarios.  The great fear of job loss controls their every move.  This motivation produces mediocre results, and even worse, an absence of credibility with those that follow.  And since leaders who hold high positions of power are human, they lead by fear and hope for the best.  Sadly, many leaders and managers infect the very people they're supposed to help.  So what was once a singular issue is now organizational.

 

Human beings are skilled at setting up their own kingdoms…complete with impregnable walls and barbed wire fences.  We think we're in control.  The higher an individual climbs in their respective organization, the more tempting it will become to try to control everything.  That’s why organizations are “certifiable” for not catching their people early in the process.  For example, teaching them about holistic leadership and the danger fear-based living presents.

 

If you desire something great (something that leaves you, your family, other people, and your health intact) from a career, then you’re gonna have to risk.  Maybe even risk that very career you're hold onto so tightly.  I'm a much better human being, leader, entrepreneur because of the risks I've taken.  The risks have not always worked out in my favor, but there is no way I would have become what I am without those risks.

 

Better to get ahead of your fears, before they claim you.

The DNA Seminar

 
The following is an updated post I wrote a few years ago.  Subject matter is still relevant and the problem is still pervasive.  Leaders/managers hear the bell.

A friend of my wife's lost his job this past Monday.  It was done in the name of saving costs.  Yes, at one time or the other you're a cost.  No promises, right?  It's a tough situation that is only made worse by organizations who make lots of promises.

Funny thing is the group he worked in was just started a year ago.  How can you know in twelve months whether something will fly? 

So what to do when Mommy and Daddy fly?  Sorry for the flippant reaction, but this guy just moved here from the west.  Why not use some candor and tell the employees that the organization isn't sure about the prospects and it may not go the way of success?  Two faces are the issue here.  And before you think I'm conjuring this stuff up, please know I've delivered the "two-faced" speech in my former corporate management life.  It went something like this; one face was in the room with management stating we'll let them go if the unit oesn't meet targets (usually unrealistic).  Another face was in front of the employees stating how the future was bright.

I write this post today to communicate something simple, yet complex.  Every leader who has human beings following them should be required to attend an all-day seminar on the marvels of human DNA.  If I were conducting the seminar I would say the following at its conclusion:

"After today think long and hard about who follows you.  And when you make your plans think about the implications-they're real and worth your consideration."

You can read here about some of the dynamics of our DNA.

Sometimes It's Better To Be A Role Player

I've been thinking a lot recently about role players. When you think about it, these folks are very crucial to any REAL team. You know what I mean, a group of people who know the goals are bigger than the individual desires of each team member. Well, I digress, the role players are crucial. Most significant victories would never happen without them.

There is a certain implication that comes with being a role player, namely you must be willing to be in the background or behind the scenes. Humility is the implied character trait here. This is difficult. Our culture (business, media, church, and maybe even family) doesn't laud humility. So it can lead you to wonder where's the spotlight on your achievements. Maybe you don't need the limelight. Maybe the limelight is overrated.

You need to evaluate hard what the coaching staff looks like in your organization. If it's weak, then time to reconsider. Effective organizations know the importance and live out the importance of strong coaching. They know that the best coaches know how to get the best out of each player. The best coaches take the time to understand each individual and then find the place where they can excel. Again, the application applies to multiple places in life. So whether you're a reserve guard for a team in the Sweet Sixteen or a business analyst in a Fortune 500 firm, you've got to have a coach that knows you and you have to have the humility accept not a lot of lime light if your best suited to be a role player.

We all need to find that place where we're satisfied with our role. Even if it's the role of a role player.

Why Men Don't Value Wives and Motherhood-2010

I've been thinking lately about what we value and what we don't.  This is important because our values do define our lives.

For example, if your career is what you value most, then everything (I mean everything) will be second to that.  I'm not writing to judge, just stating a reality.  It's ironic how little values are considered in our current age.

The above brings me to why men (significant numbers) don't value their wives and motherhood.  I know this post might generate some scathing comments, but I speak as a recovering jerk in the area of valuing my wife and her motherhood.

I worked, as many readers/subscribers know, in corporate America for many years.  The majority of that was at a senior level.  And yes, I drank the kool-aid, participated in the rah, rah sessions and terminated the employment of people who were deemed disposable.  I was paid well and thought (at times) my path was only going to get better.

During this time my wife gave up her career to raise our two children.  This decision was mutually agreed upon.  The idea of her being the primary care-giver seemed like the right thing to do.  To this day, I would say our children are the better for this decision.

But along the way I began to see our roles as separate and equal.  She took care of things at home and I took care of things career related.  There were times when we'd share the burdens, but I thought little about her struggles and work load.  After all, I saw it as her role/job.  The "taking things for granted" process settled in.

Many times she would call me at the office to vent or seek affirmation.  I gave her words, but not my heart.  Life went on, money was made and security (perceived) became the normal.  We lived this way for almost ten years, and then things changed.  My wife went back to work and corporate America said goodbye to me.   I became a man who did many different things (author, consultant and stay-at-home dad).  All of sudden the world looked strange.  For example, work on the book manuscript and make sure my son got to preschool.  Ironically, after about six months, I found myself longing for affirmation and encouragement from my wife for all of my hard work at home.  I felt like a man exposed by his ghosts.

I don't claim that my experiences are unique or more important than other men.  But here are the reasons why many men don't value their wives or motherhood:

1. As men we are taught early on that money makes the world go round and you'd better work hard to get it.  Therefore, making money becomes part of our root system.  Like a tenacious weed.
2. We assign roles without understanding or caring.  I made so many assumptions without taking the time to understand my wife's greatest needs. 
3. We're too busy (cop-out) to give the attention where its needed.  We decide that our wives are fine in our mind, and then we just move on.
4. We don't evaluate the magnitude of motherhood.  We don't consider what our wives went through to carry and birth a child, let alone be the primary caregiver.
5. Being a wife and mother doesn't, in form, produce money.  Assigning value becomes tough and we just take it for granted.  If wives and mothers started being paid for what they deal with, we'd probably stand-up and take notice.  But it would be too late to applaud then.

The Eric that walked the halls of corporate America is dead.  The post-corporate America Eric is learning how to live and has been given a chance to be remade.  It's very difficult to live differently.  But I have found a life worth living-Epic if I may so.

Viva La Vida and Power

  

This video is from a song by Coldplay.  Maybe you've heard it before.  But have you had the chance to read the lyrics?  Take a look:

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

One thought occurred to me this morning (very early); what if power is best understood once its been lost.  Maybe when you're powerless you gain the sweet awareness of what it all meant.  Sounds like the writer of Viva La Vida understood this.

In our time humilty is something we say we admire, but rarely do we want to actually, authenically, live it out.  There's still a bit of mental stigma with the whole idea.  Not many messages out there about letting someone or something else go first.  Sadly, we often crave to be number one and in-turn crave power.

What if power is a wild beast that can only be handled by people who understand its ferrious nature and all the dangers accordingly?  What if power is subtle and can sneak up on you after you've stop paying attention?

Here are some points to consider around power:

1. Don't be fooled by all the treasure power can bring.  It can go as fast as it came.
2. More organizations should require all managers to take a class/workshop on power.  I conduct these, so I am ready.
3. Power can be a great tool to help.
4. Power in the hands of arrogant and reckless people creates chaos.
5. Learn humility.

 

Moving Forward In An Uncertain World

 

How Inspiration and Greatness Impact Business Success

The Helping Versus Selling Principle

When Leaders Decide To Turn Around

When a leader decides to repent (I know that term conjures images of a fire and brimstone preacher, but it simply means "to turn around") it's a great thing.  It signifies an awakening and a desire to change.  I applaud leaders in, and out, of the corporate world who are courageous enough to make this type of move.

Now for the painful dangerous part.

As much as I would love to tell you that all of the followers will applaud when a leader turns around, I can't.  There will be opposition and resistance to the leaders new-found awakening.  The why question is multi-layered, but one big answer can be found in the history of the leaders direction and actions.  For example, if the leader has for years only praised you when senior management was around, then it's a sign of career posing.  It takes time (a lot of it) for people to accept and believe in the change from counter-genuine to authentic.  

The dangerous part is found in the leader who gives into the temptation of giving up because of skepticism on the part of their followers.  Our culture likes results fast.  But the leader should not expect speed here.  If the leader can set the expectations appropriately, then the chance of perseverance grows markedly.  The take-away here is, don't give up if you believe in the "turn around."

Make the decision to turn around...you won't regret it.