Epic Living - Leadership Development Career Management Training Executive Life Coaching Author

Are You OK With The Mistakes?

The thought of mistakes can drive some people nuts-I'm one of them.  Well, I used to be. 

As time has moved on, I've have learned the art of, not only learning, but seeing mistakes as a tool to reinvent.  It has served me well in the following ways:

1. I see risk differently.  If you are unwilling to make mistakes, then you'll avoid risk like a plague.  Risk opens doors that are essential to a life well lived.
2. I minimize my regrets.  This is huge as I pass the half-way mark (or so I think) in life.  I believe in trying and failing-succeeding too. 
3. I gain understanding about "the cost."  There is always an exchange going on.  Whether in career or life, your dealing with costs everyday.  You need to understand what you're purchasing and what you're not.
4. I found out who is truly for me.  Funny how certain environments seem to produce more sycophants than others.  I don't need those who are just hanging out.
5. I need a better memory.  Success can cause you to forget.  This can be fatal-emotionally and mentally.  The best way not to repeat a mistake is to have a good memory of what you went through.
6. I don't want to fall prey to seduction.  The idea that I can go back to something that doesn't fit and work, all in the name of "I'm different now."  Seduction feels good when you hear the voice, but a cruel master when you give in.
7. I want to experience the width of life, not just the length.  A paraphrase of one my favorite quotes, but you can't do this without mistakes course-correcting you.
8. I want to be more successful.
9. I want my kids to learn these principles early.
10. LEFT BLANK FOR YOU.

A Matter Of Trust

I became a guide long before I became an entrepreneur.  That's important because it reveals motivation.  Don't get me wrong, I don't deserve an award or a round of applause.  But for context purposes I believe it to be important.

When I first began this journey almost 7 years ago, we were living in a different time.  People (specifically in the corporate world) were running at a fast clip and hiding.  Fast clip in regards to chasing down success, and hiding in regards to thinking success (rewards/outward manifestations) could shield us from having to deal with who we really are.

Then came along the meltdown.  The economic stuff caught many off guard and left many facing detours or "road closed ahead" moments.  Maybe God was doing us a favor.  The quintessential "hey, you need to take off the mask and be who you are" moment.  There really is no substitute for authenticity.

But here's the deal; not many coaches, leaders, gurus, consultants, et al. are advising you to pause and look around.  Seems like there's just a lot of selling going on.  7 years ago it was how to turn all that fast-track good will into the next big thing, or a seminar on how to retire at 50.  Now we've moved to programs on starting your own business now that Fannie Mae has sold us down the river, or how to turn government stimulus funds into a cash-cow.

Maybe you were meant to follow the path described above.  But don't go there unless your wiring (your personality, your vision, your talents) is a fit.  Don't follow that road because of someone's or something's dogma persuades you to.  Life is so brief.

I have a vested (read my book, read my bio, see what others are saying) interest in you following the path that your destiny is screaming for you to follow.

Here are some things to weigh as you decide who you should trust:

• You've got to follow your gut.  It is a trustworthy barometer.
• You've got to look for sincerity.  This is done by asking tough questions that are important to you.
• Sometimes the most trustworthy people are those that tell you "no, I can't help you."
• To trust is to know beyond the business plan.
• Trust is found in those who stand on their motivations and not their outcomes.

This post and mission are all about a matter of trust.

 

The Cost Of Leaving Vision Behind

"Without a clear vision, odds are you will come to the end of your life and wonder.  Wonder what you could have done-what you should have done.  And like so many, you may wonder if your life mattered at all."

        -Andy Stanley

In the coming weeks we (Epic Living) will be introducing a program that will guide you to your better future.  In your life, in your business, and in your career.

Don't leave your vision behind.

It's About Influence

This video clip (courtesy of InsideWork) illustrates how influence works, and how what you want is often paved with pain.

Enjoy!

How To Measure Greatness In A Leader

You never know the leader's true core until the "crushing blow" comes. 

The following video from Business Week features a conversation with Jim Collins.  He lauds the journey of Steve Jobs. There is much to learn from his observations.

My friend Matthew told me yesterday that it is most important to focus on the "what" and not the "how."  It seems to me that people like Steve Jobs get this too.

Learning From Your Mistakes

As I looked at my father's gravesite for the first time today, I couldn't help but think of his ability to just "move on."  That's a very valuable tool in life and career.

He had presence, but he always had this sense to know when the game was over.  Almost like a coach saying "we're down by twenty and there's only two minutes left...time to accept the loss and prepare for the next one."  Knowing that you'd be better for the lesson of losing-no matter how painful.

We live in a time where success (outward wise) and glory matter a lot.  Even though there really isn't as much value there as we think.  The idea of mistakes/failures do not resonate very well in environments like ours.  We'll peek behind the curtain only if no one is looking.

So whether you're responsible for a big project or trying change a behavior at home, you need to allow yourself room for mistakes.  For example, when I first started to make running a part of my exercise routine I never considered breathing.  I thought my breathing was fine just like always.  Wrong!  But the mistake (manifested by my lack of energy to finish) drove me to ask questions.  Runner's World magazine helped me with the subject of proper breathing and my running got better.  See my point?

Here are some ideas to consider, life and career, that will help you learn from your mistakes:

• Maybe the time has come for you to stop being afraid of making a mistake.  People who are living to not "screw it up" are heart attacks waiting to happen.
• True love is found in mistakes.  It stays even when the crowd disappears.  This can be a great way to know who is really for you.
• Mistakes are indicators of your willingness to learn.  See Thomas Edison's story for more on this.
• Mistakes are essential in the process of innovation. 
• Mistakes will give you a gauge on your risk tolerance.  If you're always avoiding mistakes, you won't dare something great.  Greatness implies risk.
• Your followers are watching to find out if making a mistake is "OK."  Your willingness, or unwillingness, will cast a wide shadow.
• Learning from your mistakes increases the chances of not repeating.

Are You Leading A Tribe?

Found this speech, given by Seth Godin, on TED.  Seth is a gifted communicator and his ideas are in tune with our current time.

The bigger question is; can a tribe trust you?  You know what I mean, are you safe, will you forget about the money when the moment demands it, will you stick with me when no one else will?

This video was somewhat prophetic as I have been processing much these days.  Thanks to Marc, Terry, Matthew, and my wife for being a part of the confirmations.

Enjoy the speech!

On The Brink

Sometimes disappointing news comes in doses we would rather not take.  I have stopped trying to figure out how to reduce/eliminate the issue.  I'm continuing to learn the art of response.

As I continue to process my father's passing from 3 months ago, I have received more disappointing news than I thought I would this year.  Virtually all of the compartments of life have been touched.  The significance doesn't lie in the juicy details or whether I deserve to receive the news.  It comes down to the learning and the authenticity that flows afterward.  I strive to be someone who's journey is worth following.

I am confident that what unfolds before you will leave, if not lead, you to a better place.

The following post from June of last year seems appropriate for re-visitation:

The above insignia is for the U.S. Navy Seals.  I didn't realize how significant the symbol was until I talked to Erik whose brother is a Navy Seal. 

Erik and I didn't talk much about war or fighting, but we did talk about knowing your limits.

The Seals go through very difficult training in the pursuit of becoming a Seal.  A part of that training is discovering your limits.  My understanding is when a Seal discovers their limits they are better prepared for the extreme situations inevitable in their job.  Some say enlightenment arrives as well with a discovery of one's limits.  I would agree.

So how about you? Have you discovered, and do you know your limits? 

In years past I didn't want to know.  I thought knowing my limits would bring me too close to the "brink."  So many times I chose the expedient and practical  The brink is good for you though.  I say this, knowing how painful it can be.  No one signs up for it (except maybe the Navy Seals) and many times we just want a break.

Here are some ideas around discovering and knowing your limits:

• When the storms (business drop-off, health issues, job loss, relationship troubles) come, stop.  You're heading into a time of discovering your limits.  Ironically, the choice is yours as to the staying and fighting.  You could choose an easy route to escape, and many do.
• Focus on what is being produced inside of you.  This is a future-forward perspective.  In other words, a seed is planted, but you don't see the fruit for some time to come.  You have to believe.
• Prepare for people to desert you.  It's not personal, but it is true.  Limits are markers for what many people see as dangerous, frightening or pure madness.  When you find someone willing to stick with you during your discovery and knowing, you've found someone you can count on. 
• Don't get bitter or resentful over anything.
• Don't be too hard on yourself when the mistakes are made.  Mistakes are a part of the process.

The Navy Seals are an elite group of people.  They've set a good example of what we all should be willing to do in our career, relationships, health and dreams.

Discover and know your limits.

The Different Colors Of Leading People

Leading people is very much like the mosaic above.  The closer you get the more intricate the scene becomes-but beautiful.  Sadly, this idea is not taught or embraced often in the halls of management and leadership.  Why?  It's tough and leadership implies this reality.

We, as a culture, will continue to fail at leading as long as we expect people to be one or two shades only.  Expecting this implies that leadership should be easy.  You can complain about a lack of cooperation amongst your team or not enough time to engage in the moment with a customer.  But in the end, leading is a complex matter.

The complex matter is made simple with love.  So that you're left with a simple, but hard road to travel on. This is good.

I wrote earlier in the week about authenticity.  It's more important than ever today.  The climate makes this so.  Testing your level of authenticity is vital in the impact you're having on customers, employees, family, and the world.  For example, if you treat your employees like crap, but in the next engagement you tell the customer how important they are.  You're nothing but a fake.  And by the way, your customers will figure this out-sooner than later.

So how about the leading part?  Do you really want to lead people?  Do you want to engage and connect with a multicolored mosaic?  It's okay if you don't, just get out of the way and chart a new path.

The world is waiting for honest answers here.

Are You Really As Authentic As You Say?

A question like no other.