Epic Living - Leadership Development Career Management Training Executive Life Coaching Author

Don't Be Charmed By Security

Even with the economic conditions here in the States, specifically the employment situation, many still seem to be charmed by security.  I'm alluding to security in the form of career/work.  Now certainly, some have all but concluded that security is a myth.  But I find many career/work pilgrims are disturbed by current trends.

I used to be in that group, but am now a freak of the not-so-weird variety.  Why?  I entered my period of mass disruption almost 4 years ago.  Back then many felt certain about the future.  Now...

Well, let's face it, life (all things in) has never been certain.  And that's part of our problem.  We bought the marketing message of "too big to fail."  I know we're better off with a sense of not taking anything for granted.  Especially since that's the way business and life were supposed to be conducted/lived.  Leaders of the highly developed nature know this to be true.

We just haven't done a good job at handling success and good times.

Now's the time to embrace uncertainty and insecure times.  Watch your values shift and find out what right alignment is all about.  I think the following might open up for you:

1. God knows what he's doing.
2. Family and relationships trump everything but #1.
3. You don't need as much as you think (trust me, the economy will be ok).
4. You'll demand more of your organization.  For example, your paid for your results, not your time.
5. Taking a pay cut in order to do something impacting will seem right as rain.

So Many Masks, So Little Time

I've written and taught about wearing masks before, but this post (The Joy of Quitting) from Seth got me thinking.  What if we burned our masks (the type that suck away our authenticity) in some great fire?

Politicians tend to be prone to mask wearing.  Ironic as that may be, since they really are supposed to be servants of the citizenry.  This is soberly played out in the video clip link of President Nixon in Seth's post.  The pre-speech interaction and honesty is worth the view.

When you wear masks to "project" or to deceive, you are taking a poison pill.  A pill that takes life very slowly...over time.  Most would agree that it's not worth the cost. 

Have you come to that conclusion?

Here are a some stakeholders who stand to benefit when the masks are discarded:

1. Your family.  Believe me, they are longing for you to show up.
2. Your career.  Are you really doing what is consistent with your wiring?
3. Your next entrepreneur venture.  The potential benefactors of your ideas are worn out from empty ideas by mask-wearers.
4. Your customers.  Too much coming at them-everyday-for you to be anything less than authentic.
5. Your organization.  They may see potential in you that you're afraid to face.

Hidden Costs

One thing that drove me crazy when I was paying for my sins in corporate America was all of the hidden costs inside the organization.  As a corporate manager I was always asked to cut expenses.  However, I was rarely asked to look at those hidden costs.  The costs that were silent killers.  For example:

• Meetings.  Need I say more?
• Training events that were the equivalent of a U2 concert.  Entertainment versus learning here.  Feels good in the moment, but forgotten when it counts.
• Employees and their organizations who don't fully understand the difference between time and results.
• Outdated policies and procedures written 20 years ago that are as relevant as a powder blue tuxedo.
• Hiring practices that are driven by HR.  The hiring of talent is not a legal process.

If your organization really wants to be efficient and lean, then take a look at the hidden costs. It could lead to a new curve.  Failure to look always leads to atrophy.  And as we know atrophy lives next door to extinction.

There Are Many Reasons Why God Is Opposed To The Proud

Maybe you have heard the statement, or read the bible verse, about God being opposed to the proud.  Well, here are some reasons in our day and time that helps us understand why:

1. Proud people don't give a _____ about you and I.
2. Proud people tend to always want the credit.
3. Proud people can not be trusted.
4. If you're willing to listen, proud people will show their cards pretty quickly.
5. Proud people will try to explain their dysfunction away.
6. Proud people believe their humble.
7. Proud people have a low reservoir of sympathy.
8. Proud people are in your corner-when you're winning.
9. Proud people aways see others as inferior.
10. Proud people die lonely and alone.

Next time you engage with a person full of pride, tell them God is on defense.

By the way, pride is always knocking on your door.  Be careful.

Corrupt Instincts and Leadership

Sometimes those involved in people leadership are like those in social media consulting, it seems like everyone thinks they can do it.  But, alas, not everyone can.  There are numerous people out there who have scars to prove my point.  This is a problem.

I came across this post from Ed Batista, someone who has encouraged and informed me, that speaks to leaders who have an arsenal of corrupt instincts.  These types of leaders act on their stressed and vitriol emotions.  Not unlike the spoiled child who always threatens to take his bat on home if you don't play by his pre-set rules. 

I won't give away Ed's insights, but I will give you some insights on what you must do in order to keep your heart and mind from being trampled upon-in any organization.  Here are some things to consider:

1. If you work for a leader that exhibits corrupt instincts, then get out! I know the economy might be bad, I know you may be a year away from vesting, you might even be in denial about what the future will look like if you don't do something.  Regardless, leadership can be a very negative thing and they don't call it influence for nothing.
2. If you will set aside the stars in your eyes from the interview, you might be able to get a clue about the organization's culture.  In other words, does the organization condone and create conditions for corrupt instincts?  Investigate, Investigate, Investigate!
3. Start living on less.  Forget about the new 5 Series from BMW, start putting more money back, or get out of debt.  You may be working for angels today, but things can change and the demons are always at the gate.  Be prepared to protect your soul.
4. Don't go on any journey of awakening (seeing what wasn't evident before) alone.
5. This process will cost you.  But in the end, you'll be able to look back and know it was worth it.  Like me, you could lose your career and find your life.  Pretty cool in the end. 

What I Wanted, What I Got, What I Did

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

- Shakespeare

As I wrote some time ago, I have been doing more thinking than writing lately.  One of the things I've been pondering is the idea of what one wants from life-specifically what I've wanted.

I've also been thinking about what I've gotten, and what I did in response to the result.

The following are some specifics:

1. I wanted my dad to be around longer for me to fully appreciate our relationship.  Regardless, he passed on unexpectedly and a large comma was placed in my life.  I am relying on the vision God gave me to work through this time.  A type of vision that says: "I don't know how this all will work out, but I trust, even in my deepest blues, that it will."
2. I wanted a linear path in my entrepreneur pursuits.  It has been anything but linear.  I have rolled with it and learned to embrace my disappointments as I do my successes.  Most importantly, things don't need to look like I thought they would in order to be the "right thing."
3. I wanted certain people to stick with me.  Those that took off were only with me for the ride.  As a result, I redefined what friendship really means.
4. I wanted a great career.  I lost my career and found my life.  I am most grateful for this...I can breathe.
5. I wanted to get everything right with my family.  In the last three years, I've gotten much wrong. I  learned  that needing forgiveness creates the art of forgiving.

Are You OK With The Mistakes?

The thought of mistakes can drive some people nuts-I'm one of them.  Well, I used to be. 

As time has moved on, I've have learned the art of, not only learning, but seeing mistakes as a tool to reinvent.  It has served me well in the following ways:

1. I see risk differently.  If you are unwilling to make mistakes, then you'll avoid risk like a plague.  Risk opens doors that are essential to a life well lived.
2. I minimize my regrets.  This is huge as I pass the half-way mark (or so I think) in life.  I believe in trying and failing-succeeding too. 
3. I gain understanding about "the cost."  There is always an exchange going on.  Whether in career or life, your dealing with costs everyday.  You need to understand what you're purchasing and what you're not.
4. I found out who is truly for me.  Funny how certain environments seem to produce more sycophants than others.  I don't need those who are just hanging out.
5. I need a better memory.  Success can cause you to forget.  This can be fatal-emotionally and mentally.  The best way not to repeat a mistake is to have a good memory of what you went through.
6. I don't want to fall prey to seduction.  The idea that I can go back to something that doesn't fit and work, all in the name of "I'm different now."  Seduction feels good when you hear the voice, but a cruel master when you give in.
7. I want to experience the width of life, not just the length.  A paraphrase of one my favorite quotes, but you can't do this without mistakes course-correcting you.
8. I want to be more successful.
9. I want my kids to learn these principles early.
10. LEFT BLANK FOR YOU.

A Matter Of Trust

I became a guide long before I became an entrepreneur.  That's important because it reveals motivation.  Don't get me wrong, I don't deserve an award or a round of applause.  But for context purposes I believe it to be important.

When I first began this journey almost 7 years ago, we were living in a different time.  People (specifically in the corporate world) were running at a fast clip and hiding.  Fast clip in regards to chasing down success, and hiding in regards to thinking success (rewards/outward manifestations) could shield us from having to deal with who we really are.

Then came along the meltdown.  The economic stuff caught many off guard and left many facing detours or "road closed ahead" moments.  Maybe God was doing us a favor.  The quintessential "hey, you need to take off the mask and be who you are" moment.  There really is no substitute for authenticity.

But here's the deal; not many coaches, leaders, gurus, consultants, et al. are advising you to pause and look around.  Seems like there's just a lot of selling going on.  7 years ago it was how to turn all that fast-track good will into the next big thing, or a seminar on how to retire at 50.  Now we've moved to programs on starting your own business now that Fannie Mae has sold us down the river, or how to turn government stimulus funds into a cash-cow.

Maybe you were meant to follow the path described above.  But don't go there unless your wiring (your personality, your vision, your talents) is a fit.  Don't follow that road because of someone's or something's dogma persuades you to.  Life is so brief.

I have a vested (read my book, read my bio, see what others are saying) interest in you following the path that your destiny is screaming for you to follow.

Here are some things to weigh as you decide who you should trust:

• You've got to follow your gut.  It is a trustworthy barometer.
• You've got to look for sincerity.  This is done by asking tough questions that are important to you.
• Sometimes the most trustworthy people are those that tell you "no, I can't help you."
• To trust is to know beyond the business plan.
• Trust is found in those who stand on their motivations and not their outcomes.

This post and mission are all about a matter of trust.

 

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